The Mourning After
by Neptune47
Summary: How do you cope with the death of someone you love? Naruto and Sasuke deal with Sakura's sacrifice in different ways. [Complete]
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Naruto would wear boots, Sasuke's shorts wouldn't be so short, and Sakura would have a purpose. Okay, fine, I'll shut up.

Summary: How do you cope with the death of someone you love? Naruto and Sasuke deal with Sakura's sacrifice in different ways.

AN: Well, this piece was hard to write. Not only did I have to really get inside the heads of these characters, but I also had to age them. It was a workout, but an interesting one. I would love to get any feedback-- was I successful? Do the characters need tweaking? Do my fight scenes suck? Give me anything, because I really want to improve my Naruto-writing ability. Also, if anyone is interested in serving as a Beta reader (for any future Naruto fics I write, or even to help me revise this one), I'd be very grateful!

This fic obviously takes place a year or so down the road. That being said, I made a few assumptions about how current events in the manga pan out. These should be apparent in the story, but lets just call this AU for the discrepancies it will no doubt have with canon. Also, I'm assuming that Naruto and Sasuke passed the Chuunin exam a little before Sakura's death.

The Mourning After (1/2)

By Neptune

**

* * *

**

Her eyes were open. That was good. She had to be alive.

"Sakura-chan?" She didn't respond. He knelt down above her head, which was resting on Sasuke's knee. "Sakura-chan?" He tried again, as if she might not have heard him the first time.

Still nothing.

"Sasuke…she's okay, right?" He looked up at Sasuke's face. "Right, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha bowed his head slightly, before slowly shaking it to the left and right.

Naruto felt the air rush out of his lungs, and he dropped onto his heels. He could only stare dumbly as her upside down eyes stared back up at him.

Sasuke moved his left hand, which had been cradling her neck, and brought it up to rest on her forehead. Naruto noticed that it was shaking. And that it was covered in blood. It was covered in her blood. Sasuke moved his palm down her face, stopping once he'd reached the bridge of her nose.

He'd closed her eyes. It was over.

**

* * *

**

6:58 am

Naruto sat cross-legged on his bed, elbows leaning heavily on his knees.

The wind outside pushed against his window, trying to force itself in through the small opening near the sill. He should probably open that more; the room was getting warmer, and even though he'd removed his shirt, small beads of sweat were forming on his skin.

But he didn't move. He couldn't. It hurt too much.

6:59 am

It wasn't his physical wounds that had kept him confined to his small apartment for the past two days. No, he could deal with cuts, scrapes, bruises and broken bones better than most, thanks in no small part to the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox that he housed in his body. Whenever he got injured, the chakra from the Kyubi could usually mend most of the damage. More importantly, it had saved him from death on more than one occasion.

Death…

7:00 am

He brought his palm down to silence his alarm clock as the fifty-nine changed to double zeros. Another night without sleep…his third in a row. How long would this go on for? When would he be able to get a good night's rest again? When would his dreams stop being filled with blood and broken bones? When would he be able to close his eyes without seeing hers staring up at him vacantly, filled with death.

Sakura-chan…

"Shit," he muttered, jabbing the heels of his palms into his eye sockets. He had to get out of bed. He had to get ready. She'd knock him on the head if he showed up at her memorial service unshowered and unkempt.

Well, no, that wasn't true. She wouldn't pound his scalp until his knots had knots. She wouldn't scream at him for being crude in her presence. She wouldn't punch him for trying to be affectionate with her. She wouldn't call him an idiot for trying to goad Sasuke.

She wouldn't, because she was dead.

He bowed his head forward, and pushed his hands into his stomach to try and quell the nausea. He forced the bile to stay down by sucking in breaths of air through his teeth. One. Two. Three. His stomach slowly settled, and he pushed his head back up. He could do this. He could do this. He just needed to take it one step at a time. First he needed to put his feet on the floor. Left, then right. Good. Now he just needed to stand up. He pushed off the bed and put his weight on his newly planted feet. His knees shook slightly, but didn't give way under him. That was a good sign. Now he just needed to get to the bathroom. Then he could shower, brush his teeth, comb his hair, put on his clothes, go outside, walk to the memorial, stand through the speeches, the flowers, the tears of Sakura's mother, and finally bury his teammate forever.

His knees buckled, and the ground rushed at him fast. Bracing the impact with his forearms, he leaned his head against the cool wood floor. "Shit," he cursed at himself, a little louder. He couldn't do this.

**

* * *

**

It was warm and sunny. It shouldn't have been warm and sunny. It should have been cold and dark and rainy and miserable. Like he felt.

Naruto clenched his fist to keep from tugging at the collar of his black shirt. He was uncomfortable and sweaty. "God damn." Were they going to start soon? He looked around at the other mourners. They'd filled in to form a grid, as was typical at funerals of shinobi. He'd made sure to stand in the front row, close to the center. Most of their former classmates were there, scattered around them. Ino was standing behind him, flanked by her teammates. She would sniffle raggedly and then choke back the sounds with a hiccup. Shikamaru and Choji alternated between looking helplessly at her, and then back to the ground. Obviously, they'd never seen her cry.

Naruto, too, was surprised to see the blond so emotional. He'd heard that Ino and Sakura had once been good friends, but for the past few years at least, he'd only seen them bicker over that jerk Sasuke.

He turned his head to his right, where his own teammate stood. Sasuke was in his black tunic, and his dark hair fell around his forehead protector the way it always had. His mouth was set in a thin line, and his eyes were forward. Naruto couldn't read him, which wasn't uncommon. The Uchiha was always trying to act like a tough guy. Bastard.

"Stop fidgeting."

Naruto was surprised when Sasuke spoke--he hadn't even seen him open his mouth.

"I'm not fidgeting."

Sasuke didn't look at him, but mumbled something under his breath that sounded distinctly like "Baka."

Naruto's nostrils flared slightly, but he kept his voice low. "Arrogant jerk."

Sasuke didn't respond for a while, and Naruto thought that would be the end of the conversation. He was wrong. "Why do you have that?"

"What?"

"In your pocket."

Instinctively, Naruto reached his hand into his pocket and clasped his fingers around the cool metal band. He pulled it out and opened his fist, staring at the dented leaf spiral and torn bindings. He'd found it ten feet away from her body. It must have fallen from her head after the explosion. It was soaked in her blood.

He'd spent the night last night scrubbing and polishing it, trying to get the crusted red stains off. He'd gotten the metal plate to shine again, but the dents and nicks were permanent. So were the rips and discoloration in the blue fabric.

His hand closed tightly around the forehead protector again. "I found it…that day. I couldn't leave it."

"You cleaned it."

"She always kept it so neat. It didn't feel right to see it so…" he swallowed, changing the direction of his thought. "I thought maybe her parents would want it."

Sasuke puffed out a breath. "Idiot."

Naruto drew his eyebrows together and glowered. "What's your problem?"

"They won't want it."

"How do you know? It's the symbol of Konoha, and Sakura-chan died fighting--"

"It's meaningless. It won't make their pain easier. It will only remind them of what they lost."

Naruto clenched his jaw. "You're wrong. And I think--I know they should have it."

For the first time during their conversation, Sasuke looked at the blond boy. "Then you're stupider than I though."

Naruto's eyes widened, and his muscles began to shake. All the sadness and grief he'd been feeling transformed into anger, which he promptly directed at Sasuke. "You cold, arrogant, son of a--"

"Hey, you two, calm down. You're going to make a scene." Naruto heard Shikamaru whisper "What troublesome guys," under his breath after interrupting the small feud between him and Sasuke.

Sasuke glanced back at Shikamaru, and then faced forward again with the same stoic face.

Naruto trained his eyes on his teammate for a moment longer before looking away too. Sakura-chan wouldn't have wanted them to be fighting. He needed to calm himself down. No, he needed to stop letting Sasuke provoke him like this. Just because the guy was unable to show any kind of compassion (or emotions, it sometimes seemed), didn't mean he had the right to get worked up about it. But, man, did it piss him off. Even Kakashi-sensei, a Jounin trained to master his emotions, was more sensitive than Sasuke…

Where was his perverted teacher anyway? Another quick sweep confirmed that the Copy Ninja hadn't arrived yet. It wasn't surprising, just a little disappointing. He'd hoped his teacher would make an exception of his bad habit at least this once. What could he be doing that was more important than this?

Well, that didn't matter now. The old hag had taken her place in front of a small picture of Sakura, ready to begin the service.

Everyone else seemed to have noticed this too, as most of the crowd simultaneously stood straighter. It would have been amusing, if it wasn't so depressing.

"I don't have a speech written," Tsunade began, and Naruto rolled his eyes. Lazy ass. "It's not because I didn't want to, or didn't have time. I sat for hours last night, thinking about what I should say. Trying to find words of wisdom, or inspiration, or comfort. But the truth is, nothing I wrote seemed fitting. Words couldn't capture Sakura's spirit, or beauty, or kindness. And they certainly couldn't capture her greatest strength: her love. If anything, Sakura's life was defined by her steadfast loyalty and devotion to those she cared about…"

Naruto noticed the vehement nodding of the black bobbed haircut standing a few rows down from himself and Sasuke. Sakura had developed a soft spot for Fuzzy Brows after the survival test of their first Chuunin exam, something that had surprised the hell out of him. In any case, Lee was probably taking her death as hard as he and Sasuke were. Well, as hard as he was, at least.

He looked again at Sasuke through the corner of his eyes, trying to see if the Fifth's words had had any affect on him. The other boy's expression hadn't changed. Unemotional bastard.

He tried to catch back on to Tsunade's speech. "…because it's never easy to lose someone that young. Sakura's medical proficiency was developing at an extremely rapid rate. She had so much potential to become one of the best medical nin…"

Naruto felt a small draft brush against his ear. He turned against it, drowning out the eulogy again, and was startled to see his teacher standing next to him, as if he'd been there the entire time. At least he wasn't too late. "Let me guess. You got lost?" He whispered.

"No, unfortunately. Today, I was very much aware of my surroundings."

He hated when Kakashi-sensei spoke so ambiguously, but dropped it. What did it really matter anyway.

"…Earlier this morning, her name was carved into the memorial." Tsunade paused, and Naruto followed her gaze to where Kakashi stood. Oh, so that was it…

"She has joined the ranks of the shinobi who gave their lives to protect Konoha and its assets. Haruno Sakura," Tsunade said, lifting the white flower in her hand, "We shall honor and remember you always." She placed the Carnation on the small alter in front of Sakura's picture, then stepped aside, indicating that others could now do the same. Out of respect, no one moved until Sakura's parents had placed their flowers on their daughter's grave. Appropriately enough, it was a sprig of Cherry Blossoms.

…...

Naruto pulled himself up to his full height, trying to gather the courage he needed to approach her mother and father. Few were still present; the service had ended almost forty minutes ago, and the heat had become unbearable. But he was still here, because he had to do this one last hard thing.

"Okay, go," he ordered himself as he began walking towards them. They were talking to Ino and her family, but that conversation seemed to be wrapping up. He came up behind them, and cleared this throat. "Mr. Haruno, Mrs. Haruno," he said, bowing slightly.

"Naruto," they both acknowledged, excusing themselves from the conversation with the Yamanaka's.

"I…I wanted to say I'm sorry. And…" he glanced to his right nervously, and saw Sasuke staring at him with what appeared to be a very deep frown. That steeled his resolve. "And I wanted to give you this." He held out his palms, across which Sakura's forehead protector was spread. "I--It was Sakura-chan's."

Mr. Haruno closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly, while his wife's green eyes began to water in a very familiar manner. Naruto's stomach sank a little as he realized that Sasuke might have been right. He'd done something inappropriate. But then, he felt the weight of the band lift from his hand, and a palm clamped down gently on his shoulder. He looked up to see Mrs. Haruno holding the protector to her chest, eye's glassy, but not angry. Mr. Haruno gripped Naruto's shoulder a little more firmly. "Thank you, Naruto-kun. This means…this means a lot."

He opened his mouth in surprise, but then closed it and offered them a small smile and nod before backing away. He'd done what he needed to do. Now they needed to be alone. He searched for Sasuke again, wanting (not so) slightly to rub in the fact that he'd been wrong. But the Uchiha genius had disappeared.

**

* * *

**

"Go left. I'll go right. We'll cover more ground." Sasuke ordered.

"Who made you boss?" Naruto hissed back from their refuge in the woods.

"We don't have time for this. The longer we stay here, the easier it'll be for him to track us. We're not Genins anymore. He's not going to make this simp--"

"I know that. God." Naruto glared at Sasuke, clenching his fist. He hated when Sasuke condescended to him. "I just don't think we should split up. Our attack could be stronger together--"

"We don't have time for this," Sasuke iterated again, before disappearing to the right.

"Hey!" Naruto almost began complaining, but shut his mouth. No one was listening. Grudgingly, he headed to the left, keeping himself hidden in the foliage. If he'd learned anything from Kakashi-sensei, it was that stealth was important. He frowned as he remembered the rather unorthodox jutsu that his teacher had attacked him with at their first training session.

Their training today was a variation of the bell test. This time, their sensei wasn't waiting for an attack in the open. He'd concealed himself, and was tracking them as well. Their objective, a string of bells, was tied to the branch of one of the trees in the area. They had to locate and secure the bells, without getting caught. And with a Jounin on their tail, Naruto was positive that splitting up was a stupid idea. "I wish you were here, Sakura-chan," he whispered to himself as he jumped from branch to branch. "Maybe you could have talked some sense into that arrogant jerk." He wasn't sure that she would have been able to, but he wished her presence none the less. It had been two weeks, but training sessions just didn't seem right without her there with them.

He shook his head, trying to dispel her from his thoughts. He had to focus, not wish for the impossible. He quickened his pace from branch to branch, being careful not to upset the foliage too much. Both Kakashi-sensei and Ero-Sennin had impressed upon him the importance of subtlety in his approach. Well, they couldn't say he wasn't trying.

He stopped his trek abruptly, ear twitching. Remaining completely still, he listened again. As the slight wind brushed across him, he heard the faint jingling. His mouth titled upwards, and he jumped towards the direction of the noise. Approaching a grassy clearing just beyond forest, his eye caught two small glints hanging off the lower branch of the far most tree.

He stopped abruptly again. He'd located the bells. Now he had to worry about the 'don't get caught' part. If Sasuke had been here, the task would have been much easier. "Go left my ass," he muttered as he surveyed for signs of his teacher. He didn't see anything, so he pushed forward slowly. "I know you're somewhere around here, Kakashi-sensei, and I'm going to beat you." He placed his middle and index fingers in the shape of a cross. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Four copies of himself appeared on the tree branch. "Get those bells," he instructed. The five of them leaped down.

And immediately, flying kunai stabbed two of them, eliminating the shadow clones in puffs of smoke. The remaining three Narutos immediately took cover within the trees. "Shit." He hadn't been able to pin point the source of the attack. Not that it mattered; the Jounin had probably changed position already. He needed a sacrificial lamb, so to speak, and nodded to one of the replicas. It nodded back, and carefully made its way to the bells, still hanging untouched. It had barely made it within ten feet of the target, before it, too, was eliminated by flying shuriken.

That was all Naruto needed. He leaped up, kunai in hand, flinging himself in the direction the ninja stars had originated. Screw subtlety. He could stall Kakashi-sensei now that he knew his position, and his last clone could get the bells. Game over. Sasuke could go right till that stick got dislodged from his ass. Bastard.

Within seconds, he'd lifted himself to the appropriate level, and saw the rustling of the dense leaf covering. "Kakashi-sensei," he yelled, raising the dagger in his hand, "I've got you this time!" He crashed through the leaves, but instead of finding his Jounin instructor, he found a startled squirrel. "Eh?" His surprise didn't last long, as a blur slammed fast into his face. He fell backward, and was barely able to flip gracefully and land feet first on the ground. He saw his last clone disappear as it attempted to grab the bells. "Crap."

"Naruto," a voice admonished from above. "Never directly engage the enemy before you've conducted proper reconnaissance."

Naruto shielded his eyes from the sunlight streaming through the top covering as he looked up. He still couldn't see his teacher.

"Now you've lost all four clones, and have made your position known to me."

"It's not over yet."

He got no verbal response, but heard the whirring of daggers cutting through air. "Shit!" He swore, positioning his own weapon to deflect the incoming ones. Before he got the chance, two kunai flew passed him from his left, knocking Kakashi's away from his face. He reluctantly turned his head, knowing full well where this defense had come from.

Sure enough, Sasuke was there, staring at him with an expression that screamed "idiot."

Sasuke was gone from his position in a blur, and Naruto felt something grab hold of his waist and push him deeper into the forest. "Ay, Sasuke. Let go!"

The other boy stopped his fast run, but their momentum sent Naruto crashing ungracefully to the ground. "Damn it!"

Sasuke stood there, scowling at him. "Idiot. What did you think you were doing?"

"Me? I was trying to get the bells. With no help from you, I might add."

"Shh." Sasuke looked up, listening. His red eyes narrowed. "He's found us. Split up. You go straight for the bells, and I'll come around and cover you."

"Split up, split up, split up. No. We should stick together this time. We know where the bells are. We stand a better chance against Kakashi-sensei if we're both there."

But Sasuke wasn't listening. "We have to move. Now. Go straight. Keep your guard up. I'll wind through and cover you. Just go for those bells, and I'll take care of the rest."

"But--" He was gone before Naruto could argue. "Damn it, Sasuke!" He was the Uchiha's teammate, not his subordinate. There was no option now. He had to follow the plan (or as much of it as he was told about) that was being forced down his throat. Checking his surroundings, he was glad that Sasuke hadn't propelled them too far from where the bells were. He picked himself up, gathering enough chakra in his feet to repel upward. He'd tried approaching level with the bells before. This time, he'd come from above.

He reached the clearing again, this time with an aerial view of the bells. He did a quick sweep for his masked teacher. Kakashi was definitely around here somewhere, but had hidden himself well. Naruto searched for Sasuke, too, but couldn't make out his position either. "Alright, Sasuke, you'd better be here." He jumped off the branch he was on, heading straight for his target below.

This time, he was being more careful. From the corner of his eye, he detected the blur of motion coming at him. His mouth twitched into a smile, and his arms formed the cross again. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" His four shadow clones appeared by his side, and simultaneously turned towards the motion, legs outstretched to deliver a roundhouse kick.

Kakashi easily deflected the blows, grabbing the orange pant leg of the last Naruto to attack him and twisting it. The clone exploded into smoke, but provided enough of a distraction for the remaining four orange clad boys to safely reach the ground.

Kakashi landed too, and all four Narutos groaned when they saw his unmasked Sharingan. "Sensei-i-i," they whined in unison. "That's not fair."

"Enemy nin will not bother with fairness, Naruto," he was informed before at least a dozen shuriken flew at him and the replications.

Naruto and one clone leaped, while the two others ducked and rolled. A shuriken stabbed the chest of one on the ground, and it disappeared easily.

"Your defense is sloppy. A Chuunin should be able to provide me with much more of a distraction."

Naruto scowled, and flipped in the air. Maybe if he'd had reliable back up, instead of that moody, brooding…

He landed a safe distance from his teacher, catching his breath. "You want a distraction? Fine." He outstretched his palm, tensing it slightly. Turning to the shadow clones, he said, "Get those bells. I'll hold him off." The clones stood, making their way towards the tree. Kakashi let them go, staring lazily at Naruto. He hated when his teacher got so cocky. At least he hadn't pulled out his book.

Focusing his chakra into his hand, he felt the air around his palm swirl. "Rasengan!" He wouldn't make it too potent; he didn't want to hurt the Jounin, after all. He just wanted to wipe that bored expression off his face.

He charged forward, crying out as he ran. As the energy in his hand grew, he focused his sight on Kakashi's form. Just a few more meters and--

--his eyes widened in surprise. The lazy figure had disappeared from his line of sight. "What…?" He felt a strong grip on his forearm, before his momentum was used to pivot him about. Before he knew it, he was flying through the air, in the opposite direction he'd been running in. The backs of his remaining replications came into view, growing larger as he sailed towards them. "Get out of the way!" He ordered, unable to control the power in his palm. They weren't able to move quickly enough, and his jutsu was executed against himself. Two puffs of smoke later, Naruto found himself sliding along the dirt before he flipped feet first into the base of a tree.

He groaned, opening one eye, then the other. His teacher's upside down body came into view, hands shoved into his pockets. His lazy expression was gone, replaced with one of…disappointment. "Naruto, using the Rasengan shouldn't have been necessary during this training. As your master technique, and as a jutsu that consumes much chakra, it should only be used in dire situations. Now, not only have you failed, but you've used up most of your own chakra."

Naruto rolled so that his entire body was on the ground. His arms shook as he pushed up on them. "I…do…not…_fail,_" he rasped out.

Kakashi sighed. "Perhaps you haven't yet…" He pulled his right arm out of his pocket, extending his index and middle finger into a peace sign. Two flying shuriken easily landed on them. "…since Sasuke has decided to announce his presence."

"Katon Housenka no Jutsu!" Sasuke flew forward, releasing balls of fire from his mouth. Kakashi jumped, avoiding the flames. Naruto used this opportunity to pull himself up. His body still felt shaky, but he ignored it. He wouldn't fail. Grabbing the tree trunk, he pulled himself along the sturdy wooded support.

Sasuke launched a second wave of attacks, sending every weapon in his arsenal towards his teacher as he repelled upwards. The kunai and shuriken impacted Kakashi's chest, and his body fell downward, hitting the ground with a loud thud.

Sasuke pulled out his Fuma Shuriken, knowing that his instructor would not be beaten so easily. As he predicted, the body on the ground puffed into a fallen log. So where had the real Kakashi gone? He looked up just as a blue sandal descended on his face. Calling on his taijutsu skill, Sasuke blocked with his forearms, and spun quickly, trying to get behind his target. Successfully deflecting most of the impact off his arms, he shadowed behind him mentor, grabbing the Jounin's vest to execute his Lion Combo. As soon has he touched the green material, he realized his mistake. "A replication." It wasn't a technique Kakashi usually employed. "Damn." Why hadn't he noticed it with his sharingan? It was a rookie mistake, and it was going to cost him.

Turning his head, he realized the Jounin was already on top of his other target. "Naruto!" He kicked the replication in the back, and then spun, grabbing a kunai while launching the Fuma Shuriken in his hand.

Kakashi stretched his arm in front of him with perfect timing, grabbing the large shuriken by its open center and condensing it back into one blade. Simultaneously, he grabbed Naruto by his spiky blond hair, pulling him backwards. He snapped the blade of Sasuke's shuriken to Naruto's neck.

Sasuke planted his feet on the ground, bring the kunai across to his right shoulder, ready to strike. He saw the situation in front of him, and his eyes widened, fingers tensing around the weapon handle. He didn't move.

"Eh, Baka! Why are you just standing there?" Naruto yelled to Sasuke, struggling against his captor.

Sasuke's eyebrows drew together, and a bead of sweat formed on his forehead. Kakashi's eye's narrowed at him.

"Yes, Sasuke, what is your next move? It seems an impossible situation. One mistake, and Naruto will die." He pulled the blade closer to Naruto's neck.

Sasuke stood, kunai still drawn back, breathing heavily. His forearm twitched with the rising and falling of his muscles. He still didn't move.

"Sasuke, what are you doing? We'll lose at this rate!" When Sasuke still didn't respond, Naruto stopped struggling, looking questioningly at the boy. "Sasuke?"

The Uchiha tensed before dropping his arm. The kunai blade stabbed itself into the ground. "This training is pointless," he said, turning on his sandal to walk away.

Naruto's eyes widened with surprise, then with anger. "What the hell are you doing?" Sasuke ignored him.

"I was hoping you two would be better today, but it is obvious you are still not at your best." Kakashi lowered the blade, and released his hold on Naruto. "There was no cooperation. Launching separate attacks only hindered your performance."

Naruto folded his arms, casting a glare at Sasuke's back. "Wasn't my idea," he grumbled. "Wasn't my idea to give up either. I'm not a coward."

Sasuke stopped, turning his head slightly. "You're the one who got caught. These exercises are useless to me if you can't keep up."

"Stop acting like you're better than me!" Naruto clenched his fists, ready to run after Sasuke.

"Naruto, enough," Kakashi told him, sticking his hands in his pocket. Naruto stood down. "Your attacks today showed a lack of planning. You are usually able to use your jutsu with more sophistication."

"But--" Naruto stopped himself and stared hard at the ground, not surprised that his sensei had taken Sasuke's side. Sasuke was his protégé, after all, and now Naruto was all alone. He allowed himself to wish for Sakura's presence again. "Things have been tough lately, Kakashi-sensei. I may not have been at my best."

"Ah, yes." Kakashi said looking down at him. "Sakura's absence is weighing heavily on all our minds." There was no admonishment in his voice, just understanding.

Naruto looked up at him, slightly surprised at his teacher's astuteness. Reminding himself that Kakashi wasn't trying to play favorites, he forced his bitter annoyance away. "I can't stop thinking about her," he said, voice low. "Can't stop wishing she was here."

They both looked up when Sasuke grunted. He didn't turn, but his voice carried clearly over his shoulder. "You've allowed this to affect you too much. You need to learn to control your emotions. Like a true shinobi."

Naruto frowned, then made himself taller. "That's not my ninja way."

Sasuke shook his head. "Baka."

He'd pushed just the right buttons, and Naruto fumed. "How can you act like this doesn't affect you?"

"She was a comrade who died for her village. I honor her for that. She knew that death was a real possibility for a ninja. We all did."

"She loved you so much, but you dismiss her so easily!"

Sasuke stayed quiet.

"Answer me, damnit!"

"I don't have time for this. I have to train." He began walking away again.

Naruto wasn't done with him, though. "I hope I never become like you. So used to death that I start disrespecting my important people--"

Kakashi placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder, cutting off his rant. "Enough. Let's end training for today."

Sasuke grunted, but kept walking away, disappearing into the forest.

Naruto hung his head, not looking up at his teacher. "I know what you're going to say. That he doesn't show his emotions like me." He took a deep breath. "I know that. But he acts like none of us matter. Like Sakura-chan's death doesn't matter. She…she deserves a lot better than that."

Kakashi didn't respond, and Naruto finally looked up at his teacher. "Sensei…?"

"There's no template for grieving," the Jounin told him, staring off into the forest. "Sasuke's dealing with it in the only way he knows how." He kept his hand on Naruto's shoulder, pushing slightly to make Naruto walk. "Come with me."

"Where?"

"Something that will make you feel better."

Naruto shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

"Good. Because I'm not feeding you."

…...

Naruto stood next to his teacher on the circular platform. The sun was sinking, casting a dim yellow glow on the clearing. "Kakashi-sensei, I don't understand. What are we doing here?"

Kakashi placed a gloved hand on Naruto's back, prompting him to walk towards the center of the circle. They stopped in front of the prism shaped monument, which looked more golden than teal in the sun's decaying light. "Talk to her."

Naruto looked up, confused. "What do you mean?"

"You will never be able to forget her, Naruto. This will at least help you grieve." He moved his hand from Naruto's back to his shoulder. "Talk to her," he reiterated.

Naruto studied his teacher's face with arched eyebrow, trying to figure out if he was extremely crazy, or extremely wise. He settled on the latter. Turning to the monument, he kneeled in front of the rows of carved names. The edges of most of the engravings had dulled with time, but hers was still crisp. He hesitantly reached out a hand, tracing over the strokes of her name.

"Hello, Sakura-chan…"

…...

The red and white fans on the wall flickered yellow with the candle. He placed the holder on the alter in front of his family memorial, watching the shadows play on the walls. They created shapes, images, scenes--none of wish he could notice. He'd trained his mind to understand reality, not the imaginary. And when reality was too much to bear…

He threw his hand out, sweeping it hard across the altar. The candle and holder clattered to the ground, extinguishing easily on the cement. The room turned black against Sasuke's hollow breathing.

**

* * *

**

To Be Concluded…

AN2: This was originally going to be a one shot, but when your one shot is 25 pages long, it's probably best to split it up. I hope to have the next part up in a few days. Also, I have to apologize for the use of "......"s between scenes. I prefer asterisks, but for some reason ff.net deletes them from the story. Formating nightmare. In the mean time, like it? Hate it? Don't think Naruto should ever ever wear boots? Let me know!


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Naruto would wear boots, Sasuke's shorts wouldn't be so short, and Sakura would have a purpose. Okay, fine, I'll shut up.

AN: First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed for the encouraging feedback! I really appreciate it--y'all rock. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

Secondly, I don't speak Japanese, so I had to consult and online dictionary and a friend who's learning Japanese to figure out some words. According to both these sources, "yajuu" means beast or monster. It's what Sasuke and Sakura will sometimes refer to the shape-shifter as. Also, I was told that "baindingu" meant binding. It is a special type of jutsu that Sakura uses.

And as always, I'm still looking for a beta-reader, if anyone is interested.

Enjoy the conclusion, and remember, reviews are a girl's best friend.

The Mourning After (2/2)

By Neptune

* * *

Sasuke's body flew above her head, hitting a tree trunk behind them with a thud. She gasped in pain for him as he slid down the bark and settled at the base. His palm involuntarily opened and she noticed that the kunai had not been deployed. The exploding tag was still attached to the hilt of the weapon.

"Sasuke-kun!" She lunged at his prone form, sliding to halt against the dirt ground. She pulled the makeshift bomb from his hand and launched it at the enemy they'd been fighting. Had the yajuu stayed in its original form, it could have easily avoided the blade. But it had chosen to morph, and in its enlarged and energy-bound state, the kunai was able to imbed itself in its shoulder. It wasn't a critical point, but she hoped it would slow him down enough for her to take care of Sasuke, and find Naruto.

The shape shifter growled in pain as its shoulder rippled and bulged. The kunai sank further and further in, until it was pulled completely under his skin. Sakura used this opportunity to assess her teammate's condition. She moved his head, placing a palm on his bleeding temple. He groaned slightly against the movement, and his eyes slitted open. She sighed in relief before her medical training took over again. "Sasuke-kun? Can you hear me?"

"S-Sa…kra." His eyes focused on her face, and he tried to push himself up on shaky hands.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun," she said, stopping any further movement. "Don't move so suddenly. You'll hurt yourself more." She steadied his back by placing an arm around his shoulders, and pulled him up. "Use me for support," she told him, "we have to get out of here and find Naruto."

He nodded to her, closing his eyes. The tremors that ran through his body suddenly subsided-- he'd opened one of the gates to stabilize himself, she realized.

They pushed passed the tree, trying to get deeper into the forest. They needed to regroup before facing the yajuu again. Sasuke seemed to realize this too, for he didn't argue as she led them further from their attacker.

"I hope Naruto didn't get himself into any trouble," she said, more to herself than him. "He was supposed to meet us an hour ago, but still--"

The sharp breeze that grazed her right cheek stopped her sentence. She brought her hand to her face when she felt wetness there. Her fingers came away red and sticky. Sasuke saw her wound, and then turned his attention forward. She followed his gaze, eyes widening when she saw the same exploding kunai she'd thrown two minutes ago embedded in the ground if front of them. The characters on the tag were burning.

Sasuke reacted first, grabbing her around the waist and using his speed to propel them beyond the dagger. They landed ten feet away, his weight on top of her, before the forest behind them flashed, and debris rained down on their bodies.

He rolled off of her quickly, and she could see that he'd reactivated his sharingan. Three shuriken were held between his fingers, and he was posed to launch them. "Sakura, stay down," he ordered, as he stood up in front of her. He was breathing hard, and blood was dripping from the cuts on his face and arms. He closed his eyes again, and the heaving stopped.

He'd opened another gate she realized, and her pink eyebrows drew together in concern. Kakashi-sensei had taught them that technique almost a year ago, but had warned them to use it only in situations of life or death. She'd understood why he'd placed that restriction on them-- Lee-san's battle and injuries were still fresh on her mind. Their teacher's order hadn't really applied to her, though. She had not been able to master the technique like Naruto and Sasuke had. The boys had both obliged their teacher's request so far, but their enemy was powerful today, and Sasuke was…

He turned quickly and flung the shuriken towards her. She ducked in time, but knew she wasn't in any danger. The trajectory indicated that they would have flown over the top of her head to impale whatever was behind her. She looked in the direction of the flying ninja stars as she retreated to where Sasuke was. The shape shifter was there, and his body absorbed Sasuke's weapons just as it has absorbed the kunai. The demon howled as it had before, and the energy that surrounded it sparked. The howl became lower and more rhythmic. It was laughing.

* * *

Kakashi leaned with his back against the railing, Jiraiya with his forearms on it. It was something of a custom with them whenever they met on the rounded balcony above Konoha to discuss important matters. Today's topic of conversation: his squad. Or what was left of it.

"Teamwork isn't prime these days." Kakashi said, placing his elbows against the railing as well. It stretched his body more, giving him a lazier look. "But with their new ranks, the team will soon be dispersed. So perhaps it's a moot point."

Jiraiya turned his head to Kakashi. "We both know the squads serve a greater purpose than just Genin training."

Kakashi looked to the Sennin and then looked away, saying nothing. Of course he knew.

"This has been a most unfortunate development," Jiraiya continued, staring at the streets of Konoha. "Sakura's presence was essential to both Sasuke and Naruto. It was an elemental balance."

"Yes. And now any bond Sasuke and Naruto shared has crumbled. They're both handling her death in ways that cannot be reconciled."

"How are the two of them doing? I saw Naruto yesterday, and he seemed to be in better spirits."

"Naruto has certainly matured tremendously. Sakura's death caused him to grow up faster than expected, but he's dealing with it surprisingly well." Kakashi looked down. "Or as well as one ever deals with the death of a teammate."

Jiraiya nodded, not pressing the young Jounin further. "Naruto is good at surprising people." He chuckled. "He reminds me a bit of myself."

"His antics are as infamous as yours, though I doubt he'll ever gain an affinity for writing." His words turned serious again. "He's known loneliness, but he has never truly known loss. He had been letting the grief consume him.

"Until you provided him with an outlet."

"…Hai."

"And what of your protégé? How has this been affecting him?"

Kakashi sighed, folding his arms across his chest. "Sasuke, unfortunately, is not dealing with it as well as he'd like us to believe."

* * *

Sakura glanced up at Sasuke, whose eyes were narrowed. He'd pulled two handle-less kunai from his leg pouch, but was waiting before attacking.

"You cannot defeat me, shinobi of Konoha." The voice was gruff and mechanical. "You and your comrades will die." The energy tendrils that surrounded the yajuu's body unwrapped themselves. The freed tentacles then plunged into its skin, which rippled and bubbled before releasing the three shuriken absorbed earlier. The energy arms launched them back towards Sasuke and Sakura, who just barely jumped out of the way.

Sasuke launched his kunai, but they were sent back towards him in the same manner. "Damn it," he swore, concealing himself behind a tree. Sakura had done the same.

"You cannot hide from me, shinobi." Sasuke was barely able to jump before one of the energy tendrils wrapped itself around his tree. He somersaulted in the air, pushing off against a tree branch before landing behind the energy beam. He tried to cut it with his dagger, but it remained intact. His mouth opened in shock. "What is this jutsu?"

He jumped back as the tendril attempted to assault him again. Knowing he had no other choice, he focused his eyes and performed the appropriate hand seals. He cupped his left palm, and allowed the blue chakra to gather and spark there. Once a sizable orb had formed in his hand, he ran, gathering speed to give his arm the blade like effect. His voice vibrated low in his throat as he cast his hand forward, charging at the monster. The chidori never failed him.

An energy tentacle flared in his path. He kept running, attempting to cut through. The high pitched chirping that had accompanied his movement stopped abruptly. After a second of disorientation, he realized that he, too, had stopped. Looking at his arm, he saw that the energy from the shape shifter had wound itself up to his elbow, causing a prickling sensation. The chakra he had gathered in his palm swirled and merged with the energy tentacle. The tingling he felt morphed into searing pain. He cried out, and pulled on his captured appendage. It clung to his chakra, forcing him to deactivate his sharingan and release the incomplete jutsu.

His arm pulled out with the energy change, and he stumbled backwards, clutching it. His master technique had failed.

* * *

"Ay-Yah!" Sasuke threw his thrusting arm back, and then surged forward. The blue chakra in his hand sparked and chirped until it connected with the large bolder. It exploded into small particles.

Sasuke stepped back, surveying his handy work. His shoulders shook with his unsteady breath, but he ignored it. All there was was his training.

"Impressive. Your chakra control has increased."

Sasuke wasn't surprised when Kakashi spoke. He'd noticed the Jounin leaning against the spruce tree earlier, but hadn't cared to say anything. "What are you doing here?"

"Since normal training sessions seem so pointless to you, I thought I'd come and see how you've been spending your time."

Sasuke turned and walked back to where he'd started his original run. He turned, and stood ready, hands in the appropriate position for the first seal.

Kakashi moved directly in his path.

"What are you doing?"

"If you insist on training by yourself, I insist on making sure you don't injure yourself."

"I'm fine."

Kakashi folded his arms. "How many gates have you opened?"

Sasuke looked down. "None."

The Jounin stepped forward. "Do not lie to me, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked up at his teacher with irritation. "Two."

"As I suspected." Kakashi's visible eye looked at his student with a mixture of concern and disappointment. "Perhaps it was a mistake to teach you that technique. I overestimated your ability to use discretion."

"I don't need a lecture, Kakashi."

"I know. You were never one to listen to lectures. But this is not a lecture. It's a warning. If you continue as you are, you will aggravate the curse seal."

Sasuke stiffened at his words.

"And Sakura isn't here to patch up the damage you inflict on your body."

Sasuke's eyes widened, surprised.

"You thought I didn't know. That I was oblivious to how much you were, and still are, over exerting yourself. Sakura was becoming very good at healing, and she would gladly use her talents to help you every time you asked." He looked at Sasuke to see if his words were having any effect. The boy was making a conscious effort to not look back.

"I wasn't doing anything wrong."

"No, I suppose you weren't. But she was always careful to make sure you didn't stimulate the seal. Your well being was very important to her; I trusted that she wouldn't let you take things too far. But she's gone now."

"I know she's gone."

"Hn. I was beginning to wonder if you'd realized it or not."

"Don't patronize me. I'm not a child."

"Then stop acting like one."

Sasuke clenched his jaw. "I don't have time for this. I have more important things to do."

"Ah, yes. Your training." The Jounin opened the weapons pouch on his leg, and extracted a blade lazily. In a flash, his feet planted themselves in a striking pose, and he threw the weapon at Sasuke. The boy barely had time to dive.

"What are you doing?" He demanded.

"Training you, of course." His voice was mellow and lethargic. "Fight me, Sasuke. I may present more of a challenge to you than a boulder."

Sasuke didn't have time to argue before five more daggers flew in his direction. Kakashi was forcing this, one way or another. Fine. He planted his feet, and his right palm closed around his left forearm. "I'm ready."

"Aa, I forgot to set the ground rules." Kakashi shook his head absentmindedly.

"What ground rules?"

"During this training, you will not be allowed to use any genjutsu or ninjutsu."

Sasuke blanched. "What?"

"No illusionary techniques, no fire element jutsu, no sharingan, no chidori--"

"I know what's being restricted," Sasuke snapped, visibly annoyed.

"Good, good," Kakashi replied, ignoring Sasuke's frustration. "Then there should be no problem. Unless you don't think you can win without those little tricks."

Sasuke grunted, dropping his arms to his satchel and extracting two kunai. "I can take you with just these."

"Oh yes, I forgot." Kakashi said, tapping his forehead twice, "No weapons."

"No weapons?"

"Hai hai, you may put those away."

Sasuke threw the blades down dramatically. "What sort of useless training is this then?"

"Everything is so pointless to you these days. Humor your old sensei, Sasuke." All laziness was gone from his voice. "This is the most important lesson I will ever teach you."

Sasuke stared at his teacher, trying to determine whether this exercise was a waste of his time or not. Kakashi met his glare evenly. Grudgingly, Sasuke nodded slowly.

"Let us begin then." Kakashi raised his arm, palm up, towards Sasuke. He bent his fingers to his hand twice, beckoning his opponent. "Come."

With a low rumble in his throat, Sasuke charged forward. He allowed his speed to increase-- Kakashi hadn't forbidden taijutsu, after all-- until his body movements were nothing more than a blur to any observer. He angled sideways, coming in to attack from behind. Kakashi's back got bigger as Sasuke approached. This attack would be hard for even the Jounin to detect without the use of his sharingan eye. He allowed himself a small smile.

That is, until his teacher turned and stared right at him, sharingan unmasked. Two shining objects were also heading straight at him. Sasuke swore, and dove out of the way of the shuriken. He rolled into his landing, and pushed himself up, glaring at his teacher who was still a good six feet away from him. The ninja stars hit the spruce tree, one after another.

"You cheated," Sasuke growled.

Kakashi raised his eyebrows. "No, I didn't."

"You used weapons and your sharingan."

"Hai, I did. I never said that _I_ couldn't use these techniques. You were the only one with restrictions."

"How is that fair?" Sasuke quickly gathered chakra at his feet and repelled upward as a few more daggers flew in his direction. He landed on a tree branch, now even further from his target than he had been before.

"Fair?" Kakashi called up to him, spinning the handle of a kunai around his index finger. "Who said anything about fair?"

* * *

Sakura watched the movements from her position behind the tree. From the years of working with Team 7, she knew that her most important contribution to missions was her intelligence. She'd be of no use to Sasuke if she tried to fight. She'd only get in the way. So she'd just have to find a way to defeat the yajuu from here.

She saw Sasuke perform the hand seals for a fire jutsu, but the tendrils intercepted and absorbed the flames. He tried again, using the Goukakyuu no Jutsu this time. Three more tendrils emerged from the chest of the shape shifter, dispelling the flames. Sakura's eyes lit up. Bingo.

She observed for a few more minutes, noting that all the energy seemed to be focused on that central spot on his chest. If they wanted to attack, that would be the best location. But how? The creature was able to intercept all jutsu. It'd have to be a direct attack then. If they thrust an exploding kunai there, that would do the trick. It wouldn't stop the weapon from being extracted though. Pulling her satchel forward, she dug through the scrolls within it. Her hand closed around the one she wanted: a blue and red binding scroll. She would be able to bind the kunai to the yajuu, provided that Sasuke could buy her enough time.

She peaked out from behind the tree again, trying to see how he was fairing. As if on cue, he landed next to her, pressing himself against the wood. His breathing was heavy, and he'd used up a lot of chakra despite opening two of his gates.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"I'll have to open the third gate soon," he told her, his shoulders moving up and down.

"Ne, it's too dangerous. You'll hurt yourself."

"There's no other choice."

She shook her head vehemently. "Can you keep him distracted for five minutes?"

He tilted his head towards her. "What are you planning."

"I think I know its weakness," she said, tapping the middle of her chest. "If I can tag him there, and bind the weapon to the body…"

"I should do it. I can use the chidori."

"No, you've used too much chakra already. And the curse seal…" She cut herself off. He was aware of the consequences. "And you'd never gain any thrusting speed at close range." They'd both seen what happened when he tried to use the chidori earlier.

"I should still go, since this is close-range, and I'm better at taijutsu."

"Skill in taijutsu won't help in this situation. Besides, it's after you. It hasn't come after me."

"Yet."

"Someone needs to distract it. We both know I wouldn't be able to provide a distraction for very long. I'm no match for it. You'd never have time to approach him and perform the binding justu."

"Getting close to him is too dangerous for you."

"This has more of a chance of succeeding if I go." She made her voice brave. "I won't fail you, Sasuke-kun."

He paused, looking at the ground, before looking back at her. "Five minutes?"

"Hai."

He nodded, before launching himself back into the trees and into the battle. She gathered the scroll, an exploding note and her kunai, treading lightly in the opposite direction as him "Good luck, Sasuke-kun," she whispered as she made her way to the monster.

* * *

"What's the matter, Sasuke? You haven't yet been able to hit me."

Sasuke listened to Kakashi's reproach from his hidden position within the trees. He clamped his teeth together. This training session was unfair. For the past forty minutes, he'd launched every attack he could think of against his teacher. But he was at a serious disadvantage, and nothing he tried had gotten close to even touching a hair on the Jounin's head.

He, on the other hand, had not been so lucky. The cut above his right eyebrow and been steadily dripping blood down his face, into his eye. He wiped at it, reddening the bandages on his arms, and only now had it begun to clot and dry. He ignored the pain in his side as he breathed. The last kick from Kakashi had no doubt bruised a rib or two. The sweat that had covered most of his body was mixing with the blood from various other injuries, and he hissed as they began to sting. This was not going well, and he had very few options.

Kakashi, it seemed, wasn't done with his speeches. "It's getting late, Sasuke, and while I could continue this for a while, I doubt you'll be able to take much more." The Jounin was rubbing the back of his head, making his boredom quite evident. "You could try attacking me from behind again, but I'll be able to detect that as I did before. None of your aerial attacks succeeded either. Try again, and you may get impaled by my weapons. It is too bad you cannot attack me from under ground. That could have possibly worked."

Sasuke, tried to tune out his teacher, but couldn't get his ears to comply. What mind games was Kakashi playing? He changed his position, jumping quickly to a tree on the other side of the training ground.

"I suppose there's not much else you can do, since you are so injured."

Sasuke unconsciously touched his tender ribs, but kept his eyes focused on Kakashi. He had to find a weakness to exploit.

"Hiding is the safest thing for you now."

You cannot hide from me, shinobi!

Sasuke tensed as the voice invaded his head. Was Kakashi using the Sharingan to hypnotize him? No, he'd made no eye contact. It wasn't possible.

Shaking out his nerves, he tried to plot out his next approach. He need to get close for hand to hand combat, but Kakashi never allowed him within five feet before deflecting his attack. He needed to divert attention somehow. An exploding tag would have been ideal, but he couldn't use weapons.

There was some twittering above his head, before something white splashed on the branch before him. He looked at the dropping that had narrowly missed his foot, and then up at the birds that were perched above him. There must have been at least a dozen crows, oblivious to the battle that was being waged below them.

It gave him an idea.

Changing his position again, he skimmed the ground to grab one of the small rocks mixed with the soil. Repositioning himself so that he was now on a tree directly in front of the Jounin, he took aim. The rock cut quickly through the air, pelting the wood under one of the crows. It was enough to startle the bird into a screeching flight. It's companions, reacting to the action, also began flapping their wings and crowing wildly. The fleet swarmed out of the tree in random directions.

Kakashi turned his head at the ruckus. Seeing his opportunity, Sasuke lunged out of his position quickly and charged. He easily cleared seven, six, five, four, three feet. It was the closest he'd gotten that afternoon. His hands fisted and flew towards the two critical points on the jawbone and chest.

Kakashi's defense kicked in again, and he raised his arms, blocking both fists while pushing back. "What good is a direct attack, Sasuke? We both know you cannot win with this strategy."

Sasuke ignored him, trying to maintain his close range. He ducked and turned around his teacher's back, sliding low. "I will not fail," he told the Jounin, brining his foot up to connect with the masked jaw from below. A gloved hand gripped his ankle before it could make contact. Planting his palms on the ground, Sasuke tried to make the blow with his other foot. It, too, was caught, and he was trapped in an awkward handstand. Kakashi pulled with enough power to flip Sasuke and propel him back.

"No," Sasuke hissed, realizing he that the distance between them was growing again. If he lost that one advantage, it was over. His instincts took over. His feet barely hit the ground before he was charging again. He couldn't lose the distance.

Kakashi sighed, waiting for the wasted attack. "Tch. You are making this very hard, Sasuke," he said, not talking about the fight. He withdrew a kunai from his holster and flung it loosely, making sure his aim was slightly off. It grazed Sasuke's cheek, forming a thin red line that soon smeared down his face. The blood was ignored. "Apparently, this lesson has been lost on you."

Extending his arm, he inflicted a blow to Sasuke's chest before the boy could see the attack. It stopped his forward motion. Kakashi easily spun behind him, grabbing his arm and pinning it behind his back. He dug his knee into Sasuke's spine, and pushed him down and back into the ground. The rest of his weight was used to restrain the boy's legs. Sasuke grimaced when his bloody cheek roughly met dirt.

Kakashi sighed on top of him. "I was expecting a bit more from you. But I suppose this is all you know." Suddenly, he released Sasuke's arm, and withdrew his knee. "Training is over." He stood, looking down at the boy.

Sasuke braced his weight on his forearm and shakily pushed himself to his knees. He kept his mouth down, spitting blood and saliva onto the ground. His ear twitched as the Jounin spoke.

"Perhaps I had too much confidence in your abilities, Sasuke. Or perhaps you just peaked early." He turned, moving to retrieve his fallen kunai. "If that is the case, you probably will not advance past this level." He spoke apathetically, as if the Uchiha was nothing more than a worn out shoe.

"Shut up." Sasuke fisted his hand, grabbing stray pieces of grass as he did. "Your training…was unfair."

"Do not blame me for your failure, Sasuke."

Failure…

"The situation was impossible."

"You should have still found a solution." Kakashi folded his arms and shrugged, "How will you protect your precious people if you can't even complete this simple training?"

Though he tried hard not to let Kakashi's words offend him, they swirled through his head, gnawing at his already worn temper. As if trapped in an echo, Sasuke couldn't help but hear all the sounds, sentences and accusations reverberate in his brain.

How will you protect your precious people? Coward. Arrogant jerk. No options. Unfairunfairunfair. You can't hide from me, shinobi.

His mouth twitched as a drop of sweat trailed past his lips. It tasted of salt and blood.

Baka.it's no use.i won'tsee another preciouspersondie.

The voice soon became two, then three, and a thousand, all yelling at the same time.

Toostrongcrusemedieshinobiit'snousehatemedon'tlietoodangerousfoolishlittlebrother…

His head swam against the assault, and he let out an involuntary gasp. And then, just as soon as they came, the chorus coalesced into one voice that he loved and hated and missed and feared at the same time.

I won't fail you, Sasuke-kun. __

It froze his dizziness, and pushed his body into cold, mechanical motion. "I will protect them," he said hoarsely, steadying his muscles.

Kakashi shook his head, closing his eyes. "Do not be foolish…"

Foolish little brother…

"…you can barely protect yourself right now."

I won't fail you…

"Shut up!" Sasuke sped to his weapons pouch, and grabbed a kunai. Releasing a guttural sound from his throat, he was on his feet and charging at Kakashi. The Jounin turned his head as he heard Sasuke's approach, but did nothing else.

"You restricted all my techniques, while you used all of yours! There was nothing I could do against that," Sasuke growled like a mantra, "there was nothing else I could do, nothing else I could do, nothing else I could--"

I won't fail…

…but I did.

Clarity suddenly blinded him, and he jerked to a halt, kunai extended.

Kakashi turned fully this time, not flinching at the blade pointed a few centimeters from his neck. He was more focused on the boy in front of him, breathing shakily with blood shot eyes. The hands holding the kunai trembled. Kakashi had barely lifted his fingers to Sasuke's before the weapon tumbled and struck the ground. The mantra was still on Sasuke's mouth, though just a whisper. "…nothing I could…do…" He wasn't complaining about the training any more. So this had been Kakashi's true mind game, and he'd slipped easily into it.

Kakashi physically pulled the boys hands down from their frozen position at his neck. "It was an impossible situation, Sasuke. Shinobi are faced with those far too often. And the hardest thing to do is accepting that sometimes there is nothing you can do. Remember that. And remember that her death was not your fault."

Sasuke stared at him, but slowly shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about." He didn't sound convincing, even to himself.

"I recognized the attack pattern you were using earlier, before I interrupted you." Kakashi put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, forcing him to step back. "Stop looking for a way to save her, Sasuke. It won't bring her back. And the obsession will consume you." Like your thirst for revenge still does, he didn't add.

Sasuke shrugged off the hand, and put some distance between them. He still hadn't looked his teacher in the eye. "That's what all this was for. To teach me that lesson."

"Traditional methods have never worked with you. And I don't think tying you to a tree would have worked this time."

Sasuke kept walking. "You've wasted your time, because this isn't an obsession."

"Then let it go."

Sasuke kept walking. "I can't."

"She'd want you to let it go."

Sasuke stopped walking, and puffed out a breath. "Hn."

"I know how you work, Sasuke. You are narrow-minded and stubborn. And you cannot deal with death."

Sasuke turned in a flash, muscles tensed and eyes furious. "I've dealt with death my entire life."

"No, Sasuke. That tragedy made you live a dark life. It wasn't so long ago that it set you on a path where all you knew revenge and power. You focused your pain into Itachi."

Kakashi could feel Sasuke's thirst for blood at the mention of his brother's name. He knew that was something Sasuke would never be able to let go of, even if he did someday kill his brother.

"But now, who is there to blame Sasuke? You dismiss her death when you're with others, but let it haunt you when you're alone. Why?"

Kakashi watched as Sasuke's shoulders rose and fell rhythmically. There were only two ways to get the boy to talk, he'd learned: baiting and waiting. And they'd waited for long enough. "What are you trying to prove?" Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "What are you trying to prove to yourself?"

"…"

"That you're strong? Well, let me help. You are obviously very strong. We all know that much."

"I don't have time for your--"

"That you can save her? You can train as hard as you want. Relive that day as much as you want, but it will change nothing."

"Stop." His tone was deadly; the right nerves were being hit.

"You've been taking out your frustration on anyone who crosses your path. Ignoring their concern. Pushing people away."

"Stop."

"Even in training, you refuse to depend on anyone but yourself. And you goad Naruto when you know how easily he is provoked."

"_Stop._"

"He is your teammate, and beneath all your juvenile rivalry, your friend. Yet you've allowed your relationship to decay."

"I said _enough._"

"So now instead of losing one teammate, you're about to lose two. Is all this worth that?"

"I don't have to justify anything to you."

"I know that. But I don't think you do--"

"Shut up, Kakashi."

"So I'll ask again. What are you trying to prove? Why won't you let her death go?"

"Shut up."

"You trap yourself in this situation, day after day, playing out that battle--"

"Shut up. Shut up! _Shut u--_"

"--as if you can change the out come. Why won't you accept the sacrifice she made--"

"Because it should have been me!"

Perhaps it was just their imagination, but Sasuke's words seemed to echo endlessly in the silence that had now gripped the clearing. Kakashi tried to read the expression on his face, but couldn't decide if it was shock at the words he'd said, or appall at having revealed weakness. In either case, the truth had finally come.

Kakashi watched Sasuke's breathing falter, but didn't say anything. He would wait.

After minutes of silence, the boy final resigned himself to speech. "The situation was too dangerous," he said, voice low but level. "I shouldn't have allowed her near it."

"I understand your need to protect those important to you, Sasuke, and I understand the guilt you are feeling. But she was a shinobi, and she knew the risks that came with that title. You said so yourself. You were not her guardian, and no one blames you for what happened."

"Words are easy to say, Kakashi. But she was with me, under my command. The responsibility is mine."

"Hai, this is true. But you must learn the difference between responsibility and fault. Yes, you outranked her, but this was not your mission alone. It was a team mission, the final for our squad before it was to be disbanded. You are not to blame."

Sasuke didn't say anything.

"And as hard as it is to accept, sometimes our best efforts are still not enough to protect those we care about. It is unfair, but that is the nature of life." He couldn't see the expression on Sasuke's face. His black forelocks were obstructing and casting shadows. But the boy hadn't mouthed off yet. And he was still there. Positive signs.

"As I see it, you have two options. You can let her death plague your existence as you are now. Looking for ways to save her. Reliving the choices you made that day till you have nothing left of her but sorrow."

Sasuke's head dropped further, before it tilted slightly, listening. It was the only indication he'd give that he was waiting to hear what Kakashi had to say.

"Or, you can stop blaming yourself and can remember her for how she lived. And for what she gave up for you. For us all."

"What if I don't know how to do that." It wasn't a question.

"Then you learn."

* * *

She dodged the tentacle that tried to decapitate her. She'd made it close to his chest, but hadn't failed complete detection. It'd take a little longer, but she had to succeed. So many were counting on her.

On the outside, she could tell that Sasuke had upped his attacks; the warmth of the fire stream was causing perspiration of form on her neck. She didn't know how much longer he'd be able to hold out. She unrolled the binding scroll with a flick of her wrist, and angled the kunai and tag, ready to plunge it.

"Sakura!"

She'd barely heard Sasuke scream her name before she felt a blinding pain wrap itself around her body. She looked down to see that one of the tentacles had wrapped itself around her. She opened her mouth, both a cry and blood emerging. Instinctively, she tightened her grip on the kunai and scroll. She couldn't fail. Not now, damn it! Not now.

Her eyes blurred and focused, seeing Sasuke throw what seemed like his entire arsenal of weapons at the energy arms. "It's no use, Sasuke-kun," she wasn't sure if she was speaking aloud or not, "that won't hurt him."

The tendrils had quickly woven their way up her body, hunching her shoulders forward as it lifted her. She needed to act soon, before she lost the ability to use her arms. The characters on the exploding tag had already activated. Good. This would happen soon. Re-angling her throwing arm against the pain, he launched the kunai. It implanted itself in his chest, and he howled in pain. She smiled dizzily-- it was a critical point after all. The energy began to snake past her shoulders. "Not yet," she slurred. There was more thing to be done. She willed her other hand to bring the scroll to her face. She gripped it between her teeth, and pushed her hands together further to perform the necessary seals. Bird, horse, sheep…

The scroll began to glow.

…monkey, frog, tiger.

She opened her mouth, letting the scroll drop into her waiting palms. "Baindingu no jutsu." The kunai turned red, as did the area surrounding it on the shape shifter's body.

It howled louder, and the tendrils began to tighten around her. "Release me," it demanded, as blood dripped out of her mouth. She heard the bones in her arm begin to snap. The scroll dropped from her hands. It didn't matter. The binding was complete. "Release me, or we both die!"

She looked at the exploding tag. The last character was burning. It must have been the searing pain, because she managed a small laugh, which turned into a fit of bloody coughs. The bones in her arm had been broken, and she was beginning to feel the same pressure on her spine. In her daze, her eyes became glassy, and the water spilled down onto her cheeks. She sent a silent message of love to everyone she cared about. Mother. Father. Kakashi-sensei. Naruto. Sasuke-kun…

The tag lit up.

He snapped her spine.

* * *

Naruto sat cross-legged in front of the teal monument. The evening wind gently ruffled his hair, dropping leaves and petals it had picked off the nearby trees into his blond spikes. He reached up and plucked the foliage out, releasing the shrubs back into the stream of air.

He turned his fingers back to the monument, reaching out to trace the outline of her name. It had become something of a ritual when he came to visit her each evening. It helped him remember that she had been real. And that she would never be forgotten.

He used to talk to her, tell her about his day, about the things that had happened in Konoha since she'd been gone. But recently, he'd found that just sitting quietly (something he'd never been able to do before) with her memory was enough.

The wind picked up again, assaulting him with stray leaves and flowers. But this time, it carried a familiar chakra as well, one that he would not have expected to be here. He pivoted his head around, eyes showing his surprise at being right. "Sasuke?"

The Uchiha was standing a few feet behind him, ignoring the breeze that swirled around his body. There were bandages around his torso, and a gauze patch taped above his eyebrow and on his cheek. His face wasn't etched into its usual stoic pose. Instead, there was something Naruto couldn't quite identify.

Yes he could. Sasuke suddenly looked nothing like the arrogant jerk Naruto had been mad at for the past few weeks. He looked…like a normal boy, hurting over the death of a good friend. Just like Naruto was. They were the same.

Sasuke looked at Naruto before slowly walking up next to him. Pulling his hands out of his pockets, he hesitantly lowered himself to the ground, settling on his legs. Naruto furrowed his brows in confusion, staring at Sasuke, waiting for an explanation. Sasuke just stared forward at the monument, lips drawn in a thin line. Naruto let the tension slip away from his eyebrows, realizing that he'd already gotten his explanation. Sasuke was here, wasn't he? He let a small smile form at his lips as he turned his attention to the monument too, softly asking the question that would reconnect them.

"Do you miss her?"

"…Aa."

"Me too."

Neither spoke after that, allowing the rustling air to be the only noise in the clearing. When the wind finally settled, it deposited the soft pink flower it had been carrying on the ground between them. It was a cherry blossom.

* * *

The End.


End file.
